Fighting With Myself

Sometimes I wanna lay in bed alone

Sometimes I wish that you was in it too

Sometimes I wanna hit the studio

But then again, I ain't in the freaking mood

I tend to push everybody I love away

It's like I can only deal with one thing at a time

But that fucks me over in a long run

Because eventually, I usually change my mind

It's time that I made a decision, things is different

Closer to my dreams, but I feel like Imma never get it

I've been persistent and gained some wisdom from two way trips

And I don't know if I wanna be Zachary or Futuristic

All the bitches predictable and they so persistent

Keep you in my vision, to move forward with no commitment

I tend to think too much and argue with myself

You did your best, for what's worth

Leave me alone, you cannot help

I keep fighting with myself

Leave me alone, no one can help

You did your best, for what it's worth

I feel so small on this earth

Yo, lately my emotions taking over

I'm having suicidal thoughts

Staring at all these white walls

I know it sounds kinda strange

But there's pleasure and there's pain

Running through my veins

Every single time, that I write songs

I wanna rip my fucking hair, up out my skull

Reading messages, from labels

Then waiting, hoping they might call

I pour some poison in the water, out in Hollywood

Hoping some of these wack rappers drink the shit and die, oh

That's the least of my concerns, really

Cause I turned out to be everything, that I hated most

An asshole with a lot of ho's, that I'm fucking with

But still I keep a chick that's so deep in love that she'll never know

I fucked up and came inside her, I should be a father

But I aborted my only child, that I'll never know

A lot of secrets I should keep them, but I leak them

Cause without honest words

I feel like my music ain't gon' never grow