An Englishman In New York

Demented New York athletes staggering round the block

Deformed Chicanos pour in, Chicago's rolling stock

Digital bathrooms drilling for furs

Surgical stockings marked his and hers

Guggenheim attitudes abck to back

With Jewish Baroque

No way street - no way street

Happy to see you, you have a nice day!

Defecting russian dance into Hockney prints

Exclusive to Bloomingdales, gift-wrapped in red

From the land of blue rinse

They boggle at menus in Olde English verse

"Ode to a burger" by Keats at his worst

The hissing of omelettes the breaking of legs

Don't shoot till you see the whites of their eggs

The pnk fillet mignon looks black on the negs

Strange apparatus

You've never seen

Srange apparatus, ever stranger theme

Street alligators

Big Anglophile

Will navigate us through a change of style

I came, I saw what manner of beast is this

New York, you talk a little bit left of centre

A scream, a shout

New York is throwing its weight about

Walk tall, walk straight, spit the world right in the eye

The stronger the wood the straighter the arrow

Dismembered hopeful My-Lai veterans queing for sleaze

"Sorry no dogs, no fags, no shriners, and no amputees"

Sexual athlete applies dor audition

Willing to make it in any position

Just one of the extras with blood on their faces

In snow-white and the seven basket cases

I'm happy and dopey and dirty in places

No way street

No way street

Lock up your daughters, Avon crawling!

Devoted collectors of paraphernalia out walking the rock

Battle and bitch for the ultimate kitch

Of a crucifix clock

Two miniature romans, running on rails

Appear every hour and bang in the nails

I've got to have it, Christ, I gotta bet the first

On your block

Disturbing facts about Nazi splinter groups seen on the news

They're picketing synagogues and claiming that

Hitler was King of the Jews

Caught in the tunnel an ambulance howls

A men's room attendant is flapping his jowls

Sssh, Howard Johnson is moving his bowels.

Strange apparatus

You've never seen

Strange apparatus, even stranger theme

Street alligators

Big Anglophile

Will navigate us through a change of style

Strange apparatus

You've never seen

Strange apparatus, even stranger theme

Walk straight, walk tall, spit the world right in the eye

The stronger the wood, the straighter the arrow

No way street - no way street .....