Eddie The Wrestler

Facebuster, mandible claw, neckbreaker, choke slam, Polish hammer, Doomsday device, couple of Asian mists and a mandible claw.

Eddie was way into wrestling

He was only young but he thought it was the best thing

He used to love the Undertaker and Irwin R. Shyster

But he was only small, he didn't look like a fighter

Used to get bullied at school every day

He dreamt of doing body slams and making them pay

Eddie was young; Eddie made a vow

To be a wrestler some way, somehow

I got a story about a kid called Eddie

He had a special dream, not a nightmare like Freddie

It all started on the silver screen

Thirteen, when he saw his first tag team

That night he dreamt of flying off the top rope

But he never told his friends 'cos he rarely ever spoke

It was secret, smelt it cooking like The Rock

But he kept his mouth shut and just dreamt of doing a headlock

Eddie, Eddie

When he was a boy Eddie had high hopes

He only felt at home when he was in between the ropes

Made a makeshift ring in his mother's front room

He used to pretend he was in the Legion Of Doom

When I told him 'bout Big Daddy I nearly wrecked his world

That his real name was Shirley but he wasn't a girl

He could've been a doctor 'cos he was brainier

But he went to the States to enter Wrestlemania

When most kids were chasing lager and wine

Eddie stayed at home alone and practiced on his clothesline

He kept on going, didn't let the dream get cold

Kept watching all the videos to learn the sleeperhold

Around this time kids were doing exams

But Eddie didn't care 'cos he had other plans

He hurt his younger brother with a DDT

As time went on it became his speciality

Iceman Eddie, Iceman Eddie

Eddie went to the USA to learn the ropes

Being taught by the best wrestlers from coast to coast

Mastered all the moves on his path to be a man

His favourites were the double choke and the bodyslam

Soon enough Eddie was competing

He was devastating and all defeating

Known to his fans as Eddie The Iceman

But nobody knew Eddie had a plan

You saw it in Smackdown 1, 2 and 3

Training hard like his heroes that he saw on TV

One day he's kicking, throwing punches and jabs

The next it's half-nelsons and Boston crabs

Smashed bricks with his head and lifted up cars

Pushed his body to the limit, didn't care about the scars

He sleeps on a bed made out of barbed wire

They may call him the Iceman but I'd say he's on fire