Minimoto

Minimoto, try to catch me

Photo evidence too blurred to match me

Scaled down, my mini superbike

Or petrol driven quad takes me places I like

Like booze you can have it off licence

Some make a sound like souped-up Dysons

Me so horny, me love you long time

Ride it at nights you might get a fine

Burnouts, endos, doughnuts

It might be small but it's ridden by grown-ups

Like Maradona with the Hand Of God

Cruising up Bristol with my mates in a quad

Put the pedal to the medal from stop to go

If I get caught then I've breached my ASBO

Got banned from the centre of town

Night falls, so I burn your house down

It's got 2 wheels that go like 4

I haven't got a licence, I don't like the law

Minimoto, it's road legal

My Missus on the back, puffin' on a Regal

You don't like it stop complaining

I'm the one whose getting wet when it's raining

Chuck it in the back of my Capri

Smoke a fat bong, drive round the Forest Green

2 wheels, 1 pair of Nike

Like Richard Hammond when I get on the mic

1 kid, 1 hooded top

Smack yer arse when I drive by the bus stop

Minimoto, with a bodykit

I squat on it like a need a shit

I'm on the streets, where the birds are bitter

I'm like Easy Rider but a bit shitter

I ain't got a helmet, don't need a test

I can drive a minimoto like a man possessed

I can drive it on the pavement or even in a field

I smashed it up twice but the scars have healed

Taking a risk by cutting up 2 cars

Front brakes locked up, went over the handlebars

I ain't got a Harley, I ain't got a Honda

I got a minibike and I drive it up the Rhonda

With your knees at your chin the fun begins

Your final warning it could end up in a dustbin

It might be exciting when you pull off a stunt

But it's a 3 years olds toy that makes you look really stupid...

Some come from China, some Japan

I buy it on the net or in Cwmbran

It don't cost much, round 90 quid

And I won't get caught cause I keeps it hid

I got a minimoto cause I seen in a photo

Ozzie Osbournes got one and he's going fuckin' loco

He went and done a wheelie on a whim

Went too far, and broke a limb

Jumping over stuff like Evil Kineavil

I've had more crashes than Eddie The Eagle

Like Kickstart but you don't get a prize

Cause your hundred thousand times more likely to dies

Open road, vanishing point

It feels much faster if you smokes a joint

Mission aborted, gone for a smoke

Tried to run on a chip but the engine broke

Don't stop me now cause I'm having a good time

Got pulled over, was expecting a fine

But in court to my dismay

Minimoto got crushed, the same day

It was smashed up in a cube when they gave it me back

And I sold it on for 50 quid for scrap

Then I went home and went online

I bought another one for £49.99