The Maggot

Space man blow up

Oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan

Turfin' out your pockets like a Christian burns a pagan

Drippin' with charm, style and panache

He'll leave you sore like a venereal rash

They tried to catch him, he says, time to dash

He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash

He's a bastard but he's always lookin' flash

With his shoes like Dick Turpin across his waist he wears a sash

Sportin' top hat with a pocket watch too

With the tallest member of the Goldie lookin' crew

Watch out, if he's there when you're pissed

He learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist

Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list

Sellin' sexy DVD's of a Willy being kissed

Stealin' pensions on the old and infirm

Made a fortune sellin' doctors fake sperm

Like Charles Dickens there's a lesson to be learned

Beware, the maggot 'cause the worm has turned

All of the youth shall witness the day that Babylon shall fall

Just like Jack, the Ripper he'll do you up a kipper

He's like a highway man holdin' up a Newport nipper

He's smarter than Sherlock Holmes or I TV's Taggart

I'm dapper refined and they call me the maggot

Turn your back and your pocket he will pick

His eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped

Like a chameleon, I'm the master thief

Usin' a disguise dressed like Penelope Keith

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

You gotta smoke a reefer or two

I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole

To takin' belongings in my ultimate goal

I'll take your China and your silver and your soul

By darkness and night I shimmy up the drain-pipe

The maggot, the maggot, that's who I am

Don't ever trust me, always doin' a scam

I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram

I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham

Gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty

He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry

Like Sherlock Holmes bummin' Watson, it's elementary

He's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century

A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue

Doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue

He's got the strength of ten like a maniac

And I'm also identified as Spring-heeled Jack

Here he comes, watch out, son, he'll rip you off

Here he comes, he's a money grabbin' bastard from Newport

I'm maggot with the GLC big shout to all the Valleys

Free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger

Big up to Dipper Nan Merthyr Connection

Postman Port big shout out to Postman Port

And Mark, runnin' the bar, always sorts it big up Hafodrynys hotel

Big up to Pontllanfraith crew also the west end crew Abercarn

Did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing, big wheel up, big wheel up

All the bus routes, X-15, 53, big respect

Red and white at cross keys

And their rivals Glynn Williams

Respect to you all say, all those that know fake Elvis

On their, Maggot signin' out, 2000 plus 3

Every man do his ting a little bit different