Tornado Alley

You used to swing your big ole breasts around town

For every man to get a good look

You used to hang your lingerie upside down

Out in the sun to cook

But when that twister rolled through Kentucky

And ripped up our trailer park

I saw your big butt flyin' through the window

And the hound dogs started to bark

And you ain't givin' me grief no more

Tornado alley has evened up the score

You used to wear a bullseye on your satin slip

For every man to throw his dart

The whisky bottle lived under the kitchen sink

With your perfime from K-Mart

Then you quit your job at the Chinese laundry

And it pissed off real good

You started hangin' out at the methadone clinic

A shame on the neighborhood

And you ain't givin' me grief any more, baby

Tornado alley has evened up the score

Your big blonde wig and your floppy hat

Disappeared as the wind came through

I hung on to your Siamese cat

But that's the last I saw of you, yeah

You used to bash your Bible on the street corner

Like an evangelical fool

But I know your little friend in the dog collar

Had his hands all over you

They say that Jesus suffered for our sins

Hell, he didn't suffer for mine

Take that Bible up into the whirlwind

I hope you all have a good time

And you ain't givin' me grief no more, baby

Tornado alley has evened up the score