Stop The Wedding

Well I met this guy sometime last May

I heard he was hung and a machine gun lay

But I musta been drunk, I musta been busy

Musta been watchin' tapes of old MacGuyver or Richard Bey

IF ANYONE OBJECTS TO THIS MATRIMONY

YOU BETTER BAG THE BAD TUX AND JUST RIDE MY PONY

AND ALL YOU BAD FUCKS OUT THERE DON'T YOU TRY TO BONE ME

I ONLY WANTED A PIECE OF THAT FRIED BALONEY-ONEY

FIRST I DID SOME JUMPING JACKS AND I SAW IT IN HIS PANTS

HE SAID "DAMN I LIKE YOUR RACK--I MEAN, YOU CAN REALLY DANCE!!!!"

BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE RUNNING MAN I THOUGHT THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING SOFT

THEN HE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND SAID "HEY! THE WEDDING'S OFF!!!"

And so that guy I had just met last May

He saw my cameltoe then canceled his wedding day

In a leotard made of the finest gold lame

At his bachelor party guess who popped right outta the cake?