If You Want a Mother

You want me to bring you home the bacon

Fry it up and serve it to you, too

When i don't you act so godforsaken

Like somehow i've been mistreatin' you

I know that's the way your mama did it

She waited on you dang near all your life

It took a while but now i finally get it

You were never lookin' for a wife

If you want a mother i can be one

That ain't all that difficult for me

We can do your way from now on, son

And i'll show you what a mother i can be

Remember tuesday night when you're out bowling

You better have your butt back home by nine

Otherwise you're grounded for the weekend

And that brand new sliverado will be mine

And in the evenin' when you're feeling sleepy

Well, i'll tuck you in and pat you on your head

And i'll be right down the hall if you should need me

But big boys have to sleep in their own bed

You can go on back to mama's apron strings

Bet your mom would be a mother just like me