My Chemical Imbalance

Ah, there's gonna be a killing

A killing, killing, killing

Drugs are not for healing

That guy just ate meat, a-wow!

There's gonna be a beating

A beating, beating, beating

The kids are on acid

And they're marching down the streets

It's my chemical imbalance

Yeah, my head is stuffed with drugs

Zoloft keeps me even

Being straight-edge rather sucks

There is no telling what could happen

If my gang was on to me

The bullets are a-shooting

A shooting, shooting, shooting

Paco plucked a pollo

That he plans to eat

Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck

There's gonna be a juicing

A juicing, juicing, juicing

I'm sober, but I'm pooping

Gorge my colon full of prunes

GO GET MORE PRUNES!

It's my chemical imbalance

Yeah, my head is stuffed with drugs

Zoloft keeps me even

Being straight-edge rather sucks

There is no telling what could happen

If my gang was on to me

Well, I was peeing in my room and I was staring at the wall

And I was thinking about everything, but, then again, I was thinking about nothing

When my same-sex parents walked in and started squealing

Mark! Mike! No, Mark! We've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems, lately

And we think it'd be in your best interest if we put you on Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitors

And I said, "What the fuck is a Selective Seretonin Reuptake Inhibitor?

Why don't you stick it up your ass like your boyfriend!

And who the hell is this Zoloft guy?

Some new German, third-party, whathaveyou, weird sexual experience?

Just give me a cookie!"