Fat Friends

Why do the best lookin' girls have real ugly friends?

It seems like it always works like that

You'll meet a queen; the girl of your dreams

And she'll have a friend that's really fat

But you decide to take a chance; this could be a great romance

If only she could just get rid of her

"She's my cousin from the East and I know that she's a beast"

And I don't think that this is gonna work

So you take them both out while you try to figure out

"How can I dump the pig?"

You've spent sixty bucks, but things are looking up

She just said she wants to make it big

Now the problem is this, every time we hug and kiss

Her friend says, "I want to go home!"

And we want her to, but we don't know what to do

And that's why it's time for this song

Why do the best lookin' girls have real ugly friends?

It seems like it always works like that

Oh, you'll meet a queen; the girl of your dreams,

And she'll have a friend that's really, really fat!

Every time you make your play, you'll find out there ain't no way

To make love to beauty and the beast

Why do the best lookin' girls have these real ugly friends?

Does this only happen to me?

Now I'm so hot I could smother, 'cause they both come home to Mother

Does this only happen to me?