Dear Miss Lonely Hearts

Dear miss lonely hearts

I had to write this letter

To tell you how I came to meet her

She was sweet but I dated her sister

That's how I made my mistake

And I can't forget her

I felt depressed

‘Til a friend of mine suggested

That I write to this address

So unless you can find a cure

For my loneliness

It will persist

It will persist

Lonely boy

Looking for another

Lonely girl

To love one another

Lonely hearts

Turn to each other

Lonely souls

Dear lonely boy

I doubt if my reply will bring much joy

It seems from your letter that you lied

Or strongly implied

That you were satisfied

To take her sister by your side

I became distressed

At your total lack of tactfulness

So at best all I can suggest

Is that you resist and you put an end

To such thoughts of silliness

Lonely boy

Dear miss lonely hearts

I've got problems

You're the only one I know that can solve them

I love a girl but I'm dating her sister

If I persist in my pursuit I will kiss her

Dear lonely girl

I doubt if this reply will bring much joy

But you must not trust this boy

You must not lust this boy

Resist and do not kiss this boy

Lonely boy