Laugh Man

Did you ever hear the one about?

Oh, God I love myself when I've got it on

I know, I'll live forever, babe, all my fears are gone

Then suddenly I'm dyin', they turned the laugh track off

I'm drownin' in the silence, crucified by coughs

Oh, I am the Laugh Man, half clown and half man

Half out and half in, mister can't you see?

I'm supposed to leave you laughin'

Why don't you laugh at me?

I started out by starvin', desperate for money

My belly crackin' dirty jokes that didn't come out funny

My neck stuck out so far like a gawky giraffe

Screamin' on a guillotine,"Come on, sucker, laugh"

Oh, I am the Laugh Man, half clown and half man

Half out and half in, mister can't you see?

I'm supposed to leave you laughin'

So why don't you laugh at me?

Oh I'm the guy who always catches the pie

I specialize in pratfalls

I am the goon who flashes the moon

A mouse in a house of catcalls

I'm your jester your juggler, your joker, your friend

I'm nothin' more or less than a horse's nether end

My ego is a bubble that I realize just broke

And alone without a microphone, my real life's a joke

Oh, I am the Laugh Man, half clown and half man

Half out and half in, mister can't you see?

I'm supposed to leave you laughin'

So why don't you laugh at me?

Oh, I'm supposed to leave you laughin'

So why don't you laugh at me?

Did you ever hear the one about?