She Sits Down on Me

Now listen to my story, boys, I need your sympathy

The tattooed lady in the circus fell in love with me

And to prove her love was sweet as sugar canda-di

She had my picture tattooed on her body.

She has the landing of the pilgrims on her shoulder

And on her back she has the sunset of the west

And right beside her dimpled knees

She has two great big apple trees

And the pyramids look lovely on her chest.

When she decided that she'd like to add my picture

She simply couldn't find a vacant spot, you see

So she tattooed my poor face

In a most peculiar place

And now whenever she sits down, she sits on me.

She has a small gardenia tattooed on her elbow

And on her hips she has the lovely Queen of May

And right beneath her shapely spine

If you saw that pal of mine

You would see the famous road to Mandalay.

She has a rusty hinge that's tattooed on her knee cap

It looks so real it squeaks each time she bends her knee

But she filled me with disgrace

When she tattooed my poor face

And now whenever she sits down, she sits on me.

Now do you wonder why I'm looking sad and worried

And do you wonder why I am feeling mighty low

I'd like to take a chance

And kick her right square in the pants

But if I do, I'll only kick myself, I know.

The only time that anyone can see my picture

Is when that tattooed lady takes her bath, oh gee

I get black and blue, of course

Every time she rides a horse

'Cause now whenever she sits down, she sits on me.