Three Ways To Die

And I read in the book of James last night

What my life really is

A vapour on the wind that vanishes in time without a trace

And now that I am old and sick

I think I understand it well

I had a restless night last night

As though it might be my last one

It is cold out his morning

My breath hangs in the air

I try to hide my memories inside a safe place in my head

Where even death itself might not break in to steal and to erase

But everything is so confused

A panic withers me inside

And as I fall to meet the ice

I know there's nothing can be done

I just want the ones I love to know I tried

People with purpose and a life to live

I see their rushing feet

No on will stop to help this old bugger

Who's collapsed in the street

I am the vanquished

I have had my go at life

And now it's done

A heavy clouds obscures the sun

As if in recognition

And I fight for Islam in the streets of Lebanon

The holy war requires I give myself up to fate

Allah knows and loves his own

Standing on the top floor of a broken tower block

In a good position to see Christian militia

Hezbollah is my family

Many would not attempt to sneak into this district

But I have the Koran sewn into my fine young heart

Suddenly the night below

Is lit up by the blasting of gunfire

And Christian bullets rip around my head

And now I'm on a fire escape

Running upwards

But somehow the soldiers see me

They are just below

On a flat roof now

I don't know how

But I am on my back

And they stand right over me

They are strange and silent

Around me a soft rain falls

This is not what I thought martyrdom would be like

It may be their Mary would have me to see heaven

And I don't know how long I've lain here on this bedsitter bed

The agony I call my past now

Was the prime of my life

My only companions in this room

Are the flies that dance around my head

I am resolved to take my life

My last dream on earth was so nice

The angels walked on the ocean

They came to me alone on the shore

Only Jesus can know the heart of the outcast

God knows all the rivers of life that flow into the deep dark sea

Of our common death