Cacka Boom

If you're cold, well here's a plan

Pull the plug out of your fan

If you're hot, now here's a scheme

Park your botty in the stream

If you're tired, check this plot

Seek a source that hits the spot

If you're snooty, here's a ploy

Stroll along the hoi polloi

(Cacka Boom)

You'll not have owt to show for it

If you don't go for it (Cacka Boom)

You'll have to come to terms with it,

Get on the firm with it (Cacka Boom)

If you don't get to grips with it,

You've had your chips with it (Cacka Boom)

You'll only come to rue it if you don't do it

If you're lost, well try this notion

Find yourself a magic potion (Cacka Boom)

If you're angry, check this wheeze

Count to ten and then say "cheese" (Cacka Boom)

If you're uptight here's the answer

Learn to be a belly dancer (Cacka Boom)

If you're cornered, suss a wangle

Try it from a different angle

(Cacka Boom)

Now you can put a name to it

You must lay claim to it (Cacka Boom)

You'll have time to regret it

If you don't go and get it (Cacka Boom)

You won't have much to talk about

If you don't go on walkabout (Cacka Boom)

Don't think you won't mind it

If you don't try and find it

No one said you must be good as gold

It's what you haven't done

That matters when you're old

No one said these things are pre-ordained

Nothing ventured...

If you're guilty, cop a stroke

You only did it for a joke

If you're dozy, here's a tactic

Tell 'em all they're too didactic

If you're fed up, here's a wrinkle

Let your pianoforte tinkle

If you're wobbling here's a trick

Happy go toilet, click, click, click

Now you can put a name to it

You must lay claim to it (Cacka Boom)

You'll have time to regret it

If you don't go and get it (Cacka Boom)

You won't have much to talk about

If you don't go on walkabout (Cacka Boom)

Don't think you won't mind it

If you don't try and find it (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)

Ow!