When I Die

I left you outside the gates of Heaven,

They wouldn't let me in

I waved goodbye as you stepped within

It's like hell on Earth without you near

I named my daughter after you,

So when she smiles, it's sorta like you still here

It's kinda crazy how the time flies,

25 years since my grandmoms died

But it feels like just yesterday when we was all laughing together

Those happy memories are so vivid, they'll last forever

And you're just still here somehow

I still feel your presence

I credit you for my inner strength,

I feel it in my essence

In my soul, in my inner being, in my genetics

I wouldn't exist if you hadn't persisted through the trenches

I wouldn't have been a lyricist, I owe you every sentence

Every verse I ever written, your energy is kinetics

Though I'm grown-up, I'm still heartbroken, aching, and crying

Hoping you're the one holding open those gates when I die

I left you outside the gates of Heaven,

They wouldn't let me in

I waved goodbye as you stepped within

It's like hell on Earth without you near

I named my label after you,

So when I rhyme, it's sorta like you still here

It's been a year, and still in shock about exactly what happened

Did you make us all for your were my uncle and I was just rapping

Need you, just talking to you

I just saw you at my mother's house, I can't believe I just poured a coffee for you

We always feared that you would die from an overdose

You loved to do drugs, it swallowed you whole

But in the end drugs didn't kill you, cancer did

I look at people die young, I don't know what the answer is

All I know is I worshiped you as a scrappy kid

Being around you made me feel cooler than rapping did

And that's pretty f*cking cool, trust me

I was the baddest when you started smoking crack, honestly it crushed me

Swept in under the rug, started smoking weed and poppin' acid

But managed to not do the uglier drugs

We grew apart when my grandmother died

Homeless, in-and-out of jail, we stopped relating to each other's lives

But years later we connected once again

Not as just neá¹—hew and uncle, but as homies, we were friends

Though I'm grown-up, I'm still heartbroken, aching, and crying

Hoping you're the one holding open those gates when I die