First Day Out

"Got another funky rhyme

Another funky, funky rhyme

Got another funky rhyme

Another funky rhyme

Another funky, funky rhyme"

"Aw shit, man, that's the ICP!!!

This is my jam!!!

I'm on a psychedelic, motherfucking inter-galactic void G!!!

Aw, shit!"

Well, they let the gate up so I bail

It's been six months pick me up from the county jail

With a smart mouth I payed my dues

Steel toilets, worn blankets, and rubber shoes

But I ain't naggin'

Here come the fellas I can hear the muffler draggin'

8 men in the car long

And the Faygo is almost gone

My nuts are kinda hard so I need a mate

So my homeboy's cousin set me up with a blind date

She said "Pick me up at three"

Can't bitch, the bus don't ride your street, ho

We gonna eat at Mexican Village

Take a cab and I'll pay the tab

And when she showed, well, I'll be damned

Left my wallet at home on the TV stand

Have her pay him and for dinner too

The knot in my sock, it done bit you

She's all prettied up for nothing

I'm smelling like shit and my chin is scruffing

And I'm chewing on my food like a pitbull

Cuz I won't front for the ho

Stuck my face in a bowl of soup

And just sucked it all up threw my missin' tooth

The bitch jumped up with a boom

"I have to fix my hair" and broke to the bathroom

She's got the tab, so I go for mine

And order up some '52 vintage wine

Hey, Louie, bring a fuckin' steak with that

Motherfuckers like jail say fuck dat

She's back now and her hair ain't fixed

Probably took a long greasy-ass smelly shit

I ain't saying nothing though

I ain't saying nothing bout the funkin' ho

What's up bitch, I'm ready to break

How long can one fat bitch take?

Quite snacking and pay me saps

Cuz we goin' home to meet her pops

"So Joe, what is that you do for a living?"

"Aww, come on pops, you seen me selling rocks on

Verner and Springwell. Matter fact, I think I sold

to that fat bitch in the kitchen"

Your dad's really cool sweetheart

I mean him letting me use his car

And he slipped me a fifty

Violent J is kinda nifty

If I'd a hit you'd be home through

But now your coming home with me

Dad I gotta bitch in the bedroom

Take your ass to the bar and don't come home soon

Now the juggla's known to smack hoes

But I need the shot too

So I switch to the mack mode

"Now woman, you know I love you

So why don't you just let me fuck you

Now bitch, I know you's a freak

So let me get a little kiss on your cheek

And a fuck to go with that

Come on, nympho, let me hit that

Tell ya what you let me stick it

And I gotta left over piece of chicken for ya

Ya little sewer skank

Ya nasty little pipe-smoking sac-chasing ho

And that was that

A little smooth talking she was on her back

And I'm finally sticking

Dump ya, and I'm eating my chicken

You'll never guess what

My first day out and I caught my nut"

First day out and I caught my nut