Piggy Pie (Old School)

Once upon a time there were three little pigs

Who went out into the big world

To build their homes and seek their fortunes

The first little piggy, his house is made of wood

He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood

He likes to fuck his sister and drink his moonshine

A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine

I rode into town with my axe in my holster

Everybody knows about the wicked piggy boaster

The sherrif at the border, he tried to take me out

I drew my axe with the quickness and cut his Adam's apple out

Walked in the village and to the piggy's place

He opened up his door and shot me in the face

It blew me off the porch and blew my head in half

But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh

Axe in hand, I rose like the dead

And swung with all my might, made a thump noise in his head

Since we out west, I grabbed a shotgun

And blew his fuckin tounge, out the back of his cranium

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die

I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe

The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

The second little piggy, his house is made of brick

And this little piggy is a mother fuckin' dick

He lays down his rules and reads you your rights

In that funny lookin' car with the little blinkin' lights

I drive a Volkswagon Bug, seventeen deep

Packed fulla Juggalos, lights out and we creep

To the piggy station and lay on the horn

First piggy out, we blow his lungs out his uniform

Now they in pursuit, like Starski and Hutch

But there's only two of them, the rest are out to lunch

They call up Dunkon Doughnuts to gather up the rest

Twenty five piggies with their bulletproof vests

We lead them on a chase, they bustin' off rounds

But now they all fucked, 'cuz we at the Carney grounds

And they gettin' swallowed by their very on greed

Dark Carnival and wicked clowns, 'cuz we need

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die

I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe

The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die

I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe

The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

The last little piggy, his house is made of gold

He lives in a mansion on his own private road

I started walking down it, the guard he told me wait

I snapped his fuckin' neck in two and slammed his nuts in the gate

'Cuz this little piggy must definitely die

off and toss it in the sky

And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil

And pull it out the sky and beat it with a shovel

People in my city, they fightin' for their meals

He sleeps on a matress, stuffed with hundred dollar bills

A Richey is the devil, he never will admit it

So I'mma cut his hand off and slap his face wit' it

Opened up his door, he sleeping in his bed

I grabbed a brick of gold and smacked it upside his head

He begged for his life, I told him it's too late

And tied his neck in a knot and watch him suffocate 'cuz I need

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie

There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die

I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe

The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks

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