The Sun I Carried Alone

My mind is travelling to a distant past

Away from this wasteland so cold and vast

I think of the things that I never do

Like watching the moon and thinking of you

Now I will tell you what I have done all since I left

I've been holding the gun

I've carried the memories of you my dear

But now I feel lost and surrounded by fear

You are my mom and you would know best what are the

feeling that grow in my chest

It feels like it's bounded and made out of hate

What can I do but sit here and wait

I have been changed, I have grown and all I hope you

forgive my incompetent scrawl

My hands are not soft

They are hard as steel

So is my heart, but I can still feel

I had no choice, when I left you alone

It hurts even now, down to my bone

But I will come home to sing you a song

I hope you have faith, I hope you are strong

The memory of you, I left it at home

It feels like a sun that I carry alone

You are now gone inside my mind

You will see me, but I will be blind

The days have not been kind to me

Oh how miss the smell of the sea

All I now can breed through the air

Is blood, hate and a killing despair

Maybe I won't return at all

This journey might be my final fall

I can't remember the face of you

I thought I had it, I thought I knew

I want to release this final shot

My soul will fly from this senseless spot

This is my dream, I fear it will end

All my love to you I will send. I hope you receive this

note from me. I want to escape, to live and be free

I regret if I told you a single lie

I'm ready to leave, I'm ready to die