Steven

Steven - Jake Miller

Yeah, look

Let me tell you bout a kid named Steven

He still be running out of things to believe in

every couple of months his mom leaves him

for no good reason his stepdad beats him

Not too many friends, only ever had a few of them,

but recently they don't want anything to do with him

Always eatin lunch in the bathroom stall

he just wants to feel normal and be cool again

yeah, always feeling like the outcast

hes been going crazy ever since his dad passed

and he's got it in the vice

but his daddy only has break downs and flash backs of the car crash

it's been getting harder every day

if he was still around everything will be okay,

'cause his dad was always the light at the end of the tunnel but now the same damn tunnels looking dark and gray

he keeps quiet in the back of the class

and when the bell rings Steven hurries home fast

He's scared that the other kids will kick his ass on the long walk home cause its happened in the past

he's getting used to the black eyes and fat lips,

but all he's got is a fake smile and cut wrists

wishin he can walk right up to em

show em the scars and say look

you're the reason that I've done this,

and maybe you'll finally understand,

and go back to how it was before It all began,

but it's just a little difference so they taunt him and they beat him, yeah

Its all just fun and games, they don't give a damn,

his older brother ain't around

in and out in jail, hanging with the wrong crowd,

he's been doing coke, smoking weed, getting drunk

all his life he's a shame, no he's not too proud,

now what's happened to him

rubbin off on his little bro, yeah

but guess what, little did he know

that every time you did a line, every time you lit a joint

every time you took a shot, you was at the mode,

so Steven sitting in his room, getting high now,

doors locked, music up with the lights out,

he just takes another toke till the rooms filled with smoke

5-6-7 hours till he knocks out,

now

Hes startin stealin pills from his mom

and maybe for the moment all his problems seem to fade

but the high fades too, after not too long,

and that's when it really sinks in

that's when it hits em, that these god damn drugs wont fix em,

curled up on the floor, can't take it anymore

now he's talking to God, 'cause he's the only one that gets em,

on his knees, looking up, can't stop crying,

God I know we haven't talked in a long time,

but it's time I really need you, please God help me say

something just give me a sign 'cause now I'm falling apart

and now I think that I can do it,

Please God give me the strength to pull through it,

tell me should I give up, I can end it all right now

I just don't know if Im brave enough to do it,

'cause it's gotta be a better way than suicide

trying to wait it out, give it time, youll be fine

but it's been so long,

and I still haven't been able to get rid of all the thoughts that i feel inside,

so sick, so angry, so mad.

and to top it off, no one even knows that

thats when he stood up, wiped his tears, walked over to his desk and got a pen and a notepad

he just couldn't see getting any better

so on a cold dark night in December,

Steven knew exactly what he had to do

but first he sat down and wrote a couple letters

One to his stepdad, one to his mother,

couple to the kids at school, one to his brother,

bringing them the pain that they once brought him

Tear drops on the paper, one after another

Yeah I hope that you all feel guilty,

'cause I'm broken now and you can't heal me,

now you're all an accomplice of murder,

each and everyone one of you have chipped in to kill me

so the reason that I'm writing you this evening

it's to say goodbye and to tell you that I'm leavin.

but don't hold your breath 'cause I ain't never coming back

Sincerely yours, Steven

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