Choctaw Bingo

Strap them kids in

Give 'em a little bit of vodka in a cherry coke

We're going to Oklahoma to the family reunion for the first time in years

It's up at uncle Slayton's cause he's getting on in years

You know he no longer travels but he's still pretty spry

He's not much on talking and he's just too mean to die

And they'll be comin' down from Kansas

And from west Arkansas

It'll be one great big old party like you never saw

Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride

Back in the thickets with his Asian bride

He's got a Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow

He still makes whiskey 'cause he still knows how

He plats that Choctaw bingo every Friday night

You know he had to leave Texas but he won't say why

He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala

Caught a great big ol' blue cat on a driftin' jug line

Sells his hardwood timber to the shipping mill

Cooks that crystal meth because the shine don't sell

He cooks that crystal meth because the shine don't sell

You know he likes his money he don't mind the smell

My cousin Roscoe Slayton's oldest boy from his second marriage up in Illinois

He was raised in East St. Louis by his momma's people

Where they do things different

Thought he'd just come on down

He was going to Dallas Texas in a semi truck called from that big McDonald's

You know the one they built up on that great big ol' bridge

Across the Will Rogers Turnpike

Took the Big Cabin exit stopped and bought a couple of cartons of cigarettes

At that Indian Smoke Shop with the big neon smoke rings

In the Cherokee Nation hit Muskogee late that night

Somebody ran a stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass

Roscoe tried to miss 'em but he didn't quite

Bob and Mae come up from little town

Way down by lake Texoma where he coaches football

They were two A champions now for two years running

But he says they won't be this year no they won't be this year

And he stopped off in Tushka at that "Pop's Knife and Gun" place

Bought a SKS rifle and a couple a full cases of that steel core ammo

With the berdan primers from some East bloc nation that no longer needs 'em

And a Desert Eagle that's one great big ol' pistol

I mean .50 caliber made by bad ass Hebrews

And some surplus tracers for that old BAR of Slayton's

Soon as it gets dark we're gonna have us a time

We're gonna have us a time

Ruth Ann and Lynn come down from Baxter Springs

That's one hell raisin' town way up in Southeastern Kansas

Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store

That's got them Rolling Stones lips up there where everyone can see 'em

And they burn all night you know they burn all night you know they burn all night

Ruth Ann and Lynn they wear them cut off britches and those skinny little halters

And they're second cousins to me

Man I don't care I want to get between 'em

With a great big ol' hard on like a old bois d' arc fence post

You could hang a pipe rail gait from

Do some twisted sisters 'til the cows come home

And we'd be havin' us a time

Uncle Slayton's got his Texan pride

Back in the thickets with his Asian bride

He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots'

He sells 'em owner financed

Strictly to them that's got no kind of credit 'cCause he knows they're slackers

When they miss that payment

Then he takes it back

He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night

Drinks that Johnny Walker at that Club 69

We're gonna strap them kids in give 'em a little bit o' Benadryl

And a cherry coke we're goin' to Oklahoma Gonna have us a time