The Lighter Side of Global Terrorism

Can I touch you here?

May I search your bags?

You have randomly been selected

Got a funny name and you look the part

Plus, I like the way

You bulge in your clothes

Yehhhh I love my job

Rock bottom pay never felt so hot

Big man, uniform and badge

Pedophile Santas ain't got nothin' on me

I love to feel sexy things

Other people's sexy things

I love to peek at people's things

Other people's private things

When I was young and someone's guest

I'd find a way to sneak upstairs

Peek in the closet, paw through the drawers

And feel a tingle up from below

Oh, how I love to find

New playthings for my mind

I file these thoughts away

Until I go on break

When I can finally touch myself

See your shiny jewels

On your neck and wrists

They could be weapons

We must play safe

So fork 'em over,

Or you're under arrest

Maybe you should have checked them

In your suitcase

Meanwhile, down below

What have we here?

Let's open this one up

Pills! Cash! Electronics to fence

Let's see you prove they were there

In the first place

Who is that behind

The one way mirror blind

Just little ol' me

And my non-dairy creme

Gotta wipe it up and go select

Someone new

Wooo!