So Bad Last Night

When the telephone woke me this morning, I'm sorry was the first thing I said

From that point it get's a bit fuzzy, thinking with half a head

Putting the pieces together, it's shocking to flash on the past

'Cause when you are known as a rascal, you can bet you showed off your ass

I was so bad last night, I'll be good for the rest of my life

Now I'm telling you and this is the truth

I have finally seen the light

From now on I'm going to act right, I was so bad last night

The harder I try to remember, the quicker my brain starts to hurt

It really is funny, unwadding the money, that's been stuffed in my pants and shirt

But tryin' to make sense of phone numbers, scribbled on the backs of old cards

I guess we ought to be thankful, nobody knows who we are

I was so bad last night, I'll be good for the rest of my life

Now I'm telling you and this is the truth

I tore up the bar, lost a pretty nice car

It's a good bet I ticked off my wife

I never intended to do it, I dropped in for a drink or two

But all of the chicks were so foxy, I wanted to marry a few

The place was more crowded than usual, and everyone there was my friend

Franny and Snake and Bunky and Jake, and somehow the night never ends

I was so bad last night, I'll be good for the rest of my life

Now I'm telling you and this is the truth

I have finally seen the light

From now on I'm going to act right, I was so bad last night