Only Human

Mic check, mic check

One two, one two

New Joe Budden!

Uhh

Please somebody help my soul (4x)

Talk to 'em (talk to 'em)

I let the man have a talk with the beast in me

I'm holdin' onto my last bit of decency

I need a vacay, a change of scenery

But mama said wherever I'mma go, I'm taking me with me

I told her s**t is on my mind and it's been eatin' me

She got me pissin' in a cup, she don't believe in me

It's not the drugs that got me out of my zone

Goin' days without eatin', in a crowd I feel alone, mama

Then she ask why it seems I never sleep at night

I told her when I close my eyes my brain just keeps the fight

She say my friends wanna have an intervention with me

I speak to n****s daily that was never mentioned to me

She told me there's a higher power and a lower power

And that I'll die if I don't find the strength to overpower

Then I replied, "well aren't we all"?

She said "yeah, but that should be on God's terms, not yours"

My every thought is scary

And it makes it hard to breathe again

Like I'm blinded while I'm starin' in the mirror

Askin' God to help me see again, please help me

But He tells me I'm only human

And that I'll be on my feet again, please help me

But they act like I'm more than human

I prove that I'm wrong again

Don't fault me I'm only human

Tryin' to weather the storm

I thought that black cloud was gone

It's been beside me all along, not the song

I wanna sit in silence, don't speak for a minute

Tired of being strong, please let me be weak for a minute

Kinda thought that my disease tried to kill your man first

It was easy to get my hands on 30 milligram Percs, worse

Can't be depression, couldn't have it this long

So many secrets I only told through a glass of Patron, my n***a

Speakin' of secrets, that's when I got the Kaylintext

Read it and cried, couldn't believe what she was sayin' next

She said "you're goin' through a lot

I'm hopin' you ain't in the grave and dead

Cause not too many people know your brains a mess"

Who knew that she was keepin' track of it all?

I wrote back "lol" but wasn't laughin' at all

I ain't tell her just the other day that that gun was in my lap

Pen and pad as in my hand, and I was writin' a note

Didn't get far, as soon as I wrote down "mom" I just stopped

Couldn't lie to her, couldn't figure out how to say bye to her

Couldn't explain the "why" to her

Couldn't picture her gettin' a call or somebody sayin' her son had died to her

And shortly after that my pastor called

Which at first I kinda thought it was weird

But that convo preserved me, 'bout God's grace and mercy

He ain't even say goodbye, he said "let us pray"

And then he went into a prayer, gripped the phone, closed my eyes

Just so happy he appeared n***a shed another tear

Maybe he could sense that somethin' had Just thankful he shed some light upon my darkest hour

All my thoughts are corrupt, this s**t is whack

If everybody calls you a duck, will you just quack?

Guess a part of me really gives a f**k, way in the back

When I had that burner ready to bust, I didn't clap

Joe

Guess I'm insanity's definition

Tryin' to step over in sanity's repetition

But I can't it got me trippin'

Whatever love we had was dead that night

Lookin' back, we both needed cooler heads that night

Was goin' off no sleep, eyes red that night

While you was drunk textin' me, I hope I read that right

You was beefin' 'bout Giselle, beefin' bout Alexa

Suddenly you was jealous, musta thought that I had sexed her

I was laughin', thought it was funny

Giselle's my homie, Alexa's twenty

With hip withdrawals

Nothin' 'bout your story shoulda been stickin' at all

I wouldn't bicker at all

I'm guessin' you were insecure and never knew me

Was there for four months, yet you said this was a new me

In your head, guess the answer to this jealousy

Was to turn around and try to make me jealous, B

But the part that you neglect

Was never mind jealousy, this was 'bout respect

Y'all Instagrammin' pictures, tryin' to get me upset

You turned it into a night we both would never forget

We both said some things we both probably regret

You was lyin' to my face and them dots didn't connect, but cool

Only picked you up to try and talk sense into you

Now I'm fu***n' homeboy up, just off the principle

I guess he caught him self antagonizin' me

But he's a young n***a, that's no surprisin' me

S**t I done f****d some of the baddest hoes

I left shorty weeks ago, you can have this ho

I guess the part where I lose

Is now they got my face plastered all over the news, I'm being falsely accused

And I don't understand, was this all part of a plan?

I guess I'll tell the whole truth when on the stand

How you go and tell the cops I had guns in my house?

Now they got a search warrant, just to come to my house

Question: were your feelings worth takin' my tomorrow's, kid?

And you know Jersey gun laws, I'm talkin' hollow tips

So you can tell them n****s you roll with whatever you want

But you and I know what's goin' on

N***a that whole night just replays in my mind

Your face is fine, this is a big waste of time

Let's get back to that jealousy

Now you got a n***a facin' three felonies

All for what, cause we were no longer dealin'

You attack me, but I'm the villain, over a fu***n' iPhone and feelings

Check, you never see me act like a jerk

I know women would provoke you and get mad when it works

Rather reserved and that always makes matters the worst

As I go on about my business and not act like it hurts, but wait

So now the whole world is watchin' me get burned here

Which is fine, there's a lesson to be learned here

Which is only f**k with strippers and the bartenders

Anytime there's a pole in the bar centered

So even though it's from afar now

I still wish you the best, I know your heart's tender

I'm sorry all, I just got my own scars to tend to

Signin' off, truly yours, with love, God's son

(2x)