Poker In the Sky

Just trying to explain the unexplainable

More than trying to attain the unattainable

Trying to make it sustainable

Collecting all the parts, see if they interchangeable

Killing me slow, but I'm glad it's entertaining you

Everyday it amaze me

The same thinking that pay me the same thinking that plagues me

How can I think I'm crazy? Sway me

Cause to profit off of s**t that aches me is actually pretty wavy

I'm painting the perfect picture

Only perfect cause the imperfections are highlighted

To gross currency off of that kinda sickness

Changes the meaning of mind my business

Giving what was given to me

So the soldiers come over unsober

And call me Yoda instead of Joseph

I be like "why they come to me for advice?"

They should really come to me for a vice

I got 'em all

Got a counter full of liquor, pocket full of pills

The illusion of control, I can tell you how it feels

Accounts full of paper and the women I play with

All got criminal bodies, innocent faces

Come around and we have a ball, could have it all

Well, I ran out of Adderall, but that's a matter of a call, check it

Odds is they start telling me they hardships

Regardless, they end up wanting hard d**k, aww s**t

You would think they been ordained

Got her legs in the air, she screaming the Lord's name

I'm feeding her more game, more game, more game

I started f*****g her mind, that's when all them thoughts came

She keep saying if I want her I should fight for her

My plight for her says I don't know if I'm right for her

Even so know there's a fire I ignite for her

Staring at her ceiling, seeing me like I'm a nightcrawler

It's like she love me, but she don't

That's when she lose me, that's when she confuse me

It's what I get appalled with, can't call it

She think I should remove her hurt since I installed it

But I wish she knew I was returned 2 birds

Feel it hurt me more knowing I hurt you

Even though it exists I don't ever bring it up

We don't be doing nothing, but it's everything to us

Presently she bring up the past and it's filthy

You not talking to who I was or who I will be

But that's my own assignment

You want to take all the feelings and the time spent

And give it realignment

Check the catalog, lateral God

I self-sabotage, I'd explain further, but I'd rather not

Salute, on me, everybody have a shot

I do it for the n****s they said wouldn't have a shot

But some days are better than some days

Still yet here I stand on numb legs

Women don't give a f**k that I have these scars

I'm f*****g the same hoes that the athletes are

What a rollercoaster, we argued and we sexed

Face in her box, James Harden in her texts

N***a from the Clippers every morning text her "good morning"

She be sleep, he just be talking to me, my n***a

None of this is a pain to see

I only care about her if she pertains to me

S**t I'm tending to emergencies with urgency

That urge in me is my daily fight in her purging me

F**k hoes, I ain't got time to be sprung now

Grandpa's cancer just made it to his lungs now

In 2012, docs gave him few months; wild

He's alive somehow, outlived 2 sons, wow

So no the observation

Says he'll die quicker with chemo and radiation

He ain't strong enough to even go through operation

Know that death's coming, he just in the house waiting

So you telling me there ain't a way to fix the s**t?

Or is grandpa too old for you to give a s**t?

Let's switch the s**t, give you my predicament

Wonder how you would feel if I was telling yours live with it

And it's traveling to his heart soon

Of course it all hit me like a harpoon

I was in shock and then it was all clearer

When he called me and asked me to be his pallbearer

I was floored

But then the next second was back

To being self-centered, self-absorbed

And it became about me, fought it off long enough

I could help carry your weight, but I ain't strong enough

But why do I have to be?

This the s**t I be naturally asking me, I'm such a catastrophe

See me breaking down with my father in back of me

So for me to attend, I'm trying to think of a strategy

But I'm happy for my dad

He was incarcerated, but his mama didn't make it

So for him to get that chance again with you

Means the world, he could be there til it end for you and me

I bleed out through this pen for you

Can't carry this around, gotta vent, it's due

Cause now, grandpa'll be closer to his wife

Have cards when I come, we playing poker in the sky