Farmer's Almanac

Well, the farmer prayed for a better year

And the crops were good like the Lord did hear

But his barn burned down with winter near

The answer came in white and black

In the farmer's almanac, it says

"If a man could have half his wishes he could double his trouble"

A sweet old lady was eighty-four

When her kinfolks came for a month or more

Now from overwork she's on the other shore

Much too late was y'all come back

And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says

"Visitors and fish smell after three days"

Our leader was a silver tongued man

He deceived the people of the land

And when he got caught he couldn't stand

It's a little off-beat and a little off-track

But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says

"In rivers and bad government the lightest things flow to the top"

Rod said, "I don't believe in God"

Rod died and lies beneath the sod

For God did not believe in Rod

Life is a troubled and a weary track

But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says

"Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death"

The little boy followed the honeybee

And it flew straight to the honey tree

He got stung but got the honey free

Consolation for the things you lack

Is in the farmer's almanac, it says

"God gives us the darkness so we can see the stars"

He came home three hours late from work

Said, "I had a flat and fell in the dirt"

She said, "You gotten lipstick on your shirt"

Well it turned out like Jill and Jack

And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says

"Lies have to be covered up, truth can run around naked"

He said, "Honey, you know I'm true

I just look at other women that's all I do"

Then she caught him with her best friend Peggy Sue

Sometimes some women will look back

And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says

"There's a lot of difference in window shoppin' and shop liftin'"

I sat down at a shoeshine stand

I had a real slow shoeshine man

I said you don't pop that rag like some of 'em can

He looked at me and then he sat right back

It says in the farmer's almanac, it says

"The trouble with the world today is

There's too much poppin' and not enough shinin'"