Slightly Irresponsible

I am slightly irresponsible,

Girl, don't let that scare you away,

'Cause I am still reliable,

Just not a hundred percent, baby.

Sometimes I fall asleep without brushing my teeth

And I only floss approximately twice a week,

I don't return phone calls all the time,

Unless it's my boss, I want to stay on his good side.

I always pay my credit cards on time,

But if was possibly I'd make minimum payments once in a while,

Also I think I may have accidentally killed someone,

I'm not sure if they died, it was a hit'n'run.

I am slightly irresponsible,

Girl, don't let that scare you away,

'Cause I am still reliable,

Just not a hundred percent, baby.

When I park my car, sometimes I leave the windows open,

That's how I got my Blackberry charger stolen,

But I didn't really care, I had a second one,

That my friend gave me when he bought his iPhone last month.

I'm glad no one's noticed the dent in my front bumper.

When I got home that night there was blood all over,

And in the grill there were bits of face, hair and bone.

I cleaned the car when made sure nobody followed me home.

I am slightly irresponsible,

I wonder if that person had a family,

But I am still reliable,

But the guilt's eating away at me.

Sometimes I'm a day late paying my rent

And sometimes I forget the birthdays of my friends,

Apparently they don't have any suspects thus far,

But they know you was killed by a Camry, luckily for me that's a common car.

But there was one witness: a seventy-nine-year-old lady,

I need to kill her, she's the only one who can identify me,

So I break into her house to kill her, but then things get messy,

I didn't realize that her son's family was visiting.

I am slightly irresponsible,

(Ah shit)(Who the fuck are you?)

But I am still reliable.

(Shut the fuck up)

I am slightly irresponsible,

But I am still reliable

(What have I done? What have I done? Oh my god, what have I done?)