WTF Collective 3

MC Every Day Normal Guy:

Every day normal guy here to get the track started

My average lyrics are between genius and retarded

I drink tap water and watch all the CSI's

Put my thirty dollar pants on one leg at a time

I sleep eight hours a night and eat three meals a day

I'm motherfucking content, i got no reason to complain

I got a roof over my head and I got cloths on my back

My verse is done it wasn't great but hey it wasn't that bad

MC Uses Time Machines Irresponsibly:

You I'm MC uses time machines irresponsibly

Went back and found Judas Iscariot in 33 AD

Gave him 31 pieces of silver to rat out the wrong guy

Then I planted Monsanto seeds in dinosaur time

Gave Bill Gates my Iphone in 1973

Then I traveled in time to the night that I was conceived

I met up with my parents and hung we hung out all night

Come to think of it they didn't have any alone time (Noooo..)

MC Nauseous:

MC nauseous up in the motherfucka

I don't feel so hot, shit I think that I am gonna (oooooohhh)

Why am I so sick, what'd I eat? (Cat food will make expired yogurt taste less like cheese)

Oh right..

MC Cock Blocks Himself:

MC cock blocks himself, hey girl whats up?

You so sexy, we should probably hook up

Crawl in a hottub with a bottle of champagne

By the way I have a girlfriend and I think I might have AIDS (where you goin?)

MC Necrophiliac:

MC necrophiliac where all my dead bodies at

Crashing funerals just so that I can get a whiff of that

Decomposing bodies are my favorite aphrodisiac

Flat lining gives me a pavlovian er****** in my pants

Turn offs include breathing pulses and signs of life

My turn ons are rigger mortise cold flesh and suicide

If your not stiff as a board I wont be stiff and ill be bored

Wait what do we have here, looks like I'm about to score

Chorus:

You have to be kidding me (what the fucks going on)

This can not be happening (don't wanna do this anymore)

This must be a bad dream (leave me alone)

Why am I still singing (I motherfucking killed myself)

MC Gets Sidetracked Easily:

MC gets sidetracked easily back in the heezy

By heezy I mean house, not the show I think its cheezy

My favorite show is Dexter that guy was also in six feet under

My first experience with death I was just sixteen

My dog got ran over by a truck and his head exploded

Like Robert Patrick in terminator 2 when he's frozen

Its freezing in Iceland, I was just there on holiday

Hold on, I think I got lost again, what was I tryin' to say?

MC Who Couldn't Speak In The Present Tense:

I was MC who couldn't speak in the present tense

I'm gonna have a lot of money and my dick was immense

It would have been difficult, people assumed I was a retard

I'll have a serious problem, communicating was hard

MC Constipation:

Yo I'm MC constipation

It has been three days since my last bowel movement

I'm starting to get impatient

Spending hours on the toilet yet nothing ever comes of it

Intestines are like politicians, they're constantly full of shit

I wish my bowel movements were a little more like my rhymes

Always smooth and free flowing, it would save me a lot of time

Push for hours with no result, not even a brown Brussels sprout

My shits like a gay republican, its not planning on coming out

MC Invisible:

Yo I'm MC invisible, you cant see me

The only rapper in this industry that can't be seen

By the naked eye, I wont lie, its hard to get the fan base

When image is everything and I literally don't have a face

MC On The Phone With Ted Danson:

I'm MC on the phone with Ted Danson keep it down

Skip to the next verse, I'm on the phone with Ted Danson, not now

Hold on Ted, I don't wanna be in the song anymore, leave me alone

This is more important, I'm on the phone with the guy who played Sam Alone

MC Confusing:

MC confusing rapping up the song

Like a plasticine high five in a helicopter thong

I got ricochet highlights from the fleet fox's knife guy

We out like a rice fight in a vampires wife's life

Chorus:

Maybe this isn't so bad (better than my last job)

Taking it in the ass for cash (twenty bucks a pop)

Maybe things will turn around (being a zombie's pretty cool)

Things couldn't get worse anyhow