Betty And Me

I guess I was skeptical when I first met Dr. Martin

He said we could build a baby out of DNA

And although it was expensive it was legal in the states where it wasn't banned

It was Betty who suggested we cut out the parts of me that she can't stand

So we made an appointment and Betty went alone

They worked out the details and then called me on the phone

To say congratulations Dad

Now things are getting better for Betty and me

We're making us a baby that's just like me only better

And Betty says he'll be taller

And Betty says he'll be smarter

And Betty says that our baby will be better than me

Betty was pretty firm about our baby being human

I said we should give him wings and a nice prehensile tail

He could travel with the circus making money, making friends with clowns

Betty said that's stupid and for God's sake would you turn that TV down?

Now I've seen Betty happy, but she's never been like this

She glows like someone's girlfriend in the middle of a kiss

And I'm excited too

'Cause things are getting better for Betty and me

We're making us a baby that's just like me only better

And Betty says he'll be taller

And Betty says he'll be smarter

And Betty says that our baby will be better than me

And the love inside me thunders like a storm

And I hope the tube they keep him in is comfortable and warm

I hope the nutritive solution that they're feeding him doesn't make him fat

Betty's been spending lots of time out late with Dr. Martin

She says that they're working on the baby every night

And Dr. Martin sends her presents like new underwear and a bottle of wine

I'll just keep on writing checks until the day that baby is mine

He might have my moustache or my freckles or my eyes

Betty thinks it's better if we keep it a surprise

I hope I find out soon

'Cause things are getting better for Betty and me

We're making us a baby that's just like me only better

And Betty says he'll be taller

And Betty says he'll be smarter

And Betty says that our baby will be better than

Baby will be better than

Baby will be better than me