Lyrics Jonathan Coulton

Jonathan Coulton

First Of May

I woke up this morning

I had a scone and a large house blend

Then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends

I said I'm sick and tired of winter

And I wish that it was spring

Then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast

Began to sing

And he sang

Ooh ooh child, what d'you think the cold winter's gonna last forever?

Ooh ooh child, now's the time for all the people to get together

Outside

Cause it's the first of May, first of May

Outdoor fucking starts today

So bring your favorite lady

Or at least your favorite lay

Water's not cold baby dip in your big toe

Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto

Grass below you, sky above

Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

I thanked him for the information

I cried a little when he flew away

I watched an episode of The People's Court

And I tried to plan my day

I called up my old lady

She wasn't home so I called my girl

I asked her if she'd like to join me as I

Entertain the world

And I said

Ooh ooh child, I'll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off

Ooh ooh child, you're gonna like it when we're taking each other's pants off

Outside

Cause it's the first of May, first of May

Outdoor fucking starts today

So bring your favorite lady

Or at least your favorite lay

Water's not cold baby dip in your big toe

Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto

Grass below you, sky above

Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

So we went to the park together

We were walking in the midday sun

Met all kinds of people and we

We fucked everyone

Fucked a lady who sells ice cream

We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei

Everyone who needed fucking well they

They got fucked today

So come on

Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you

Ooh ooh child, you'll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you

Outside

Cause it's the first of May, first of May

Outdoor fucking starts today

So bring your favorite lady

Or at least your favorite lay

Water's not cold baby dip in your big toe

Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto

Grass below you, sky above

Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside

Fucking outside

Fucking outside