Garavurghty Butes

When I was in my final years of being a

Schoolboy, I had a friend who,

Though not the most

Intellectual of teenagers was

Still quite charming.

We enjoyed pissing away

Our educational opportunities together

In the house

Left empty during school hours by his

Careless parents.

Once avoiding a

Particularly

Dismal

Stretch of mathematics,

I was admitted to this

Haven of sloth and ignorance, only

To disturb a vivid argument he was

Engaged in with a girl,

Now his wife,

He was engaged to.

He,

With a waning sense of calm, was

Saying, "It has,

Dear. Of course it has."

While she

Was retorting in the not-so-

Affected tones of a retard:

"Unh!

Stupid!

No it

Hasn’t!"

Although perplexed and

Intrigued, it was soon

Apparent that I was not to be invited

To join them in their verbal

Trench warfare.

For ten minutes they simply repeated their

Statements, stressing

Them slightly differently each time:

"Yes it has." "No it hasn’t."

"Yes it has." "No it hasn’t."

"Yes it has." "No it hasn’t."

Et cetera,

Et cetera.

I was left to

Watch, not daring to interfere,

With no idea of what it

Was that may or may not have

Something that was or was

Not, I just did not

Know.

Eventually a point of

Desperation seemed to be

Reached. And he

Sighed.

"You really believe that it hasn’t?"

"Aha! Absolutely." Aha.

Concentration twisted his sweaty brow.

"Okay then.

If the moon

Has got no

Gravity,

How can the spacemen

Stick

To

It then?"

"Unh!

Stupid!

Stupid!

The spacemen stick to the moon

Because, uh,

They wear, uh,

GARAVURGHTY BUTES!

GARAVURGHTY BUTES!

GARAVURGHTY BUTES!"