Ailments Of The Eighties

It's ailment of the eighties sorta high tech sexual rabies,

Some you catch from ladies who've probably caught it from a yank,

It seems the way it's goin' and technology keeps growin',

The next thing you'll be knowin', it won't be safe to wank.

Let me bring to your attention what I think degrades a mention,

Preme Menstrual Tention women say it gives 'em hell,

Well a bloke I know it got him, his fuckin' missus shot him,

So look out blokes this PMT affects us lot as well.

Now AIDS that's a new one, if you get if you screw one

Of them half bi hippie poofters who keep toppin' up your glass,

You'll get so pissed you'll do it, bloke or bird you'll screw it,

But no matter how you view it AIDS is a real pain in the ass.

Now Herpes is a problem with a harlet you just pulled on,

And you don't use a condom you reckon "She'll be alright jack",

But in a week or maybe longer you'll get cold sores on your donger,

You can call it what you wanna, I still call it fuckin' 'Clap'.

So there's all these new infections got from sexual connections,

With no cure from injections, the world sure is a mess,

But unlike back I history when diseases were a mystery,

It won't be quite like yesterday we'll just fuck ourselves to death.

With these ailments of the eighties sorta high tech sexual rabies,

Some you cop from ladies who've probably caught it from a yank,

It seems the way it's goin' and technology keeps growin',

The next thing you'll be knowin' it just won't be safe to wank.