Old Home Videos

Tonight, I'm sittin' watchin', old home videos,

Wonderin' what to keep, and what to throw away,

'Cause when you left, you left 'em with me,

And I think I've solved the mystery

Of how my life turned into shit,

In fact I even know the day.

That's why I play, our ol' wedding video backwards,

And dream of how things could've turned out like,

Starts when you give back the ring,

Walk backwards up the isle again

Slide your fat ass back into that limousine

And fuck off out'a my life.

And as I sit and watch these old home videos,

They're mostly friends and fun, and good ol' days,

Butnim throwin' out the lot, 'cause in every single shot,

Your fuckin' ugly head got in the way.

That's why I play, our ol' wedding video backwards,

And dream of how things could've turned out like,

Starts when you give back the ring,

Walk backwards up the isle again

Slide your fat ass back into that limousine

And fuck off out'a my life.

Hey jackpot here's our hidden secret stack of homemade pornos,

The ones we made back in our young and lust fuelled days,

Shaggin' our ass off on table, and the carpet,

And on your parents' bed, that's fuckin' gold hey,

And there's a big buck to be made in homemade amateur fuck flicks,

If I've got enough, I'll send that gold one to your mother,

The rest, I'll just flog off, on eBay.

While I play, our ol' wedding video backwards,

And dream of how things could've turned out like,

Starts when you give back the ring,

Walk backwards up the isle again

Slide your fat ass back into that limousine

And fuck off out'a my life.

Starts when you give back the ring,

Walk backwards up the isle again

Slide your fat ass back into that limousine

And fuck off out'a my life.