The Local

Well, I just got back from the Local

Had to try the local brew

And I ran into the local gossip

And I learned a thing or two

All about you local yokels

And what you’s get up to

And he read me your pedigrees

And I'll read em back to you

The local chef's a poofter

The local doc's a drunk

The local priest likes little boy’s bums

And the local cops a cunt

I said the local cops a cunt

The local mayor's a fucking dickhead

His wife's the local snob

The local bank manager's a fucking wanker

And so's the local cop

The local sparky a fucking cowboy

The local plumber's making a mint

The local undertaker's a fucking weirdo

And the local lawyer's full of shit

The local chef's a poofter

The local doc's a drunk

The local priest likes little boy’s bums

And the local cops a cunt

I said the local cops a cunt

The local bookie’s a shonky bastard

The local race’s is fucking rigged

Local public and order better be fucking hung for watering down the piss

The local Polly’s a gym jockey

And here’s something else I know

The local footy team ain’t worth fucking shit

And the local cricket teams a fucking joke

The local butcher's full of blowflies

Local dogs are full of fleas

The local barber's a fucking butcher

Local kids are fucking thieves

The local car yard's a fucking rip off

And so is the local show

And the local cop's a dead set cunt

But I mentioned that a minute ago

The local chef's a poofter

The local doc's a drunk

The local priest likes little boy’s bums

And the local cops a cunt

I said the local cops a cunt