Cheaper To Keep Her

I asked her what she wanted this year

For our anniversary

She thought about it long and hard,

And then she said to me,

"I'd really like a divorce

"Think I've finally had enough"

I said, "Honey, I wasn't planning on

"Spending quite that much"

Well, it's cheaper to keep her

Than it is to let her go

I just can't seem to say goodbye

To half of everything I own

Well, I'm damned if I do

And I'm damned if I don't

Yeah, it's cheaper to keep her

Than it is to let her go

She handed me some papers

That she wanted me to sign

She pulled out a pen

And pointed at that dotted line

It's not the thought of losing her

That really breaks my heart

You see, I'm in love with all my stuff

And that's the hardest part

Well, it's cheaper to keep her

Than it is to let her go

I just can't seem to say goodbye

To half of everything I own

Well, I'm damned if I do

And I'm damned if I don't

Well, it's cheaper to keep her

Than it is to let her go

I started thinking 'bout it, adding it up

The house, the boat, the car, the truck

When I see my attorney, gonna kick his butt

For talkin' me out of that damned prenup

Well, it's cheaper to keep her

Than it is to let her go

I just can't seem to say goodbye

To half of everything I own

Well, I'm damned if I do

And I'm damned if I don't

Yeah, it's cheaper to keep her

Than it is to let her go

Ain't goin' to let her go