The Bouncer

I was out drinkin' with my buddies

Right after work, boots still muddy.

Did a shot then we shot the breeze,

Shot some pool, like we always do.

Everybody buyin' everybody rounds.

I didn't wanna be rude and turn 'em down.

Buzz on after 2 or 3, or maybe 3 or 4.

Didn't count no more 'cuz,

I was just there to drink

I was just minding my own bui-yee-i-isness

Can I get a wi-I-i-I-i-itness

I was just partyin' on,

Swear I wasn't doin' nothin' wrong.

Just kissed a waitress on the mouth,

Then the big bad bouncer threw me out.

Said he played defensive line

For Mississippi back in 1999

He didn't seem that scared of me,

When I showed a few, of my karr-até moves (hi-ya)

I'm not sure how far I travelled

Just know I landed face first in the gravel.

Got up and kicked him in the pork-n-beans

Dusted off and then, I ran right back in 'cuz

I was just there to drink

I was just minding my own bui-yee-i-isness

Can I get a wi-I-i-I-i-itness

I was just partyin' on,

Climbed up on the bar to sing my song,

Jumped off and surfed across the crowd,

Then the big bad bouncer threw me out.

I was just there to drink

I was just minding my own bui-yee-i-isness

Can I get a wi-I-i-I-i-itness

I was just partyin' on,

Swear I wasn't doin nothin wrong.

Just kissed another waitress on the mouth,

Jumped off the bar, surfed across crowd,

If I wadn't busy drinkin' woulda taken him down,

But the big bad bouncer threw me out.

"He better be glad I was in a good mood"

"Yeah I'll let it slide this time"