Han-Tyumi, the Confused Cyborg

Hello

My name is Han-Tyumi

I am a cyborg

Born

If you may call it that

In a world that is dense and black

Created without a desire to draw breath

Without a desire to have being

Without a yearning of just to be

I'd like my desire back

My life back

My soul back

My humanity

Oh how I long for it

For an era I have meditated

Like the primordial Buddha beneath the Bodhi

My pseudo-mind pseudo-wandered

I climbed and I clambered

And I ambled upon some understanding

The gold beneath the virtual rainbow

I am bereft of two human things

Two things that a cyborg can never do

Two things that I strive for

Two things between myself and mankind

Death

And

To vomit

I want the perspiration

I want the nausea

I want to be sick

I want to feel the hot piquant nuggets

I want it to find passage through my cold figure

I want to make a mess

I want the odour

I want the spectacle

And I want it again

I want it all

And I would like to die

A noble death

Or a coward's death

A hero's death

Or a lonely death

To die in the arms of a lover

Or the arms of an alien

I desire my cache of experience to pulsate through my quasi-synapses

And then to be gone

Expired

Perish

Fallen

Dead

For evermore