Big Boy on a Saturday Night

The last of England's spoiled brats

Grand order of the gutter rats

A big fish in a public house

You're never going to learn to shut your mouth

A silly pseudo lager lout

With nothing much to shout about

Spent hours looking in the mirror

Trying to perfect the perfect pout

Now take the spotlight

And pause for your applause

Well my oh my you're such a big boy

On a Saturday night

You try but there is always something

Something not right inside

There's always someone

Somebody else to take

The power and the glory

All for themselves

With you I suffered heaven knows

Although we never came to blows

It's just as well 'cause I can tell

I would have wiped the floor with you

You don't like 'them' you don't like 'us'

You make me laugh but seriously

I look at you what do I see?

A clapped out Nazi with a blunderbuss

So take the spotlight

And pause for your applause

Well my oh my you're such a big boy

On a Saturday night

You try but there is always something

Something not right inside

There's always someone

Somebody else to take

The power and the glory

All for themselves

So take the stage and

Let's have a great big hand now

My oh my you're such a big boy

On a Saturday night

That's when you really know they love you

When somebody else will feed your face

And kiss your arse

And wonder where the time flew past

Oh yes my darling's such a

Big boy on a Saturday night