44 Robbers

I got up at half past four

Forty-four robbers around my door

Forty-four - and maybe more

What the hell they want me for?

Stubbly faces & gap-tooth grins

Ain`t no way I`m lettin` them in

No way - you can`t come in

Forty-four robbers stinkin` of gin

Uh huh - I ain`t lettin` you in

I`ll hit you with a rolling pin

So small can`t hurt a fly

Get in my way and I`ll sure as hell try

To kick your butt down the block

Can`t wait yellin` for the cops

Fifty dealers and fifty thieves

Starring at the drive-in on my street

Shit, over my shoulder there`s Popeye and Bluto

Looking nasty - can I remember my judo?

It`s always like this - going out alone

So damn scared might never leave home

I`ve got my freedom I`ve got my pride

All means nothin` with these men outside

Puffing and preening and strutting their stuff

Blocking my way out - I`ve had enough!

Give me justice - hand it over now

Gotta get a gun or maybe just leave town...

See ya!

Sly Stallone and Al Capone

Are giving me grief on the telephone

All I want is a Swiss cheese sarnie

When at the deli stands big Arnie

Hey Jean-Claude - move aside

That taxi`s mine - I`m taking that ride

When I go out to get the Sunday paper

What`s my man to think `someone might rape her`?!

I`m just having a beer on my own

Don`t mean Hulk Hogan can take me home

I`ve got my mace but my loud-as-fuck whistle

Is so ineffective I just pray the Epistles

For help to come someday soon

But until then I`ll stay in my room