Hellfudge

You never know

when it says you gotta go.

Hellfudge.

To them cheap motels down in Baton Rouge.

Hellfudge.

Roll down the window of the limousine.

Hellfudge.

I’ll pay you fifteen bucks if you’ll perform for me

(no more)

Hellfudge.

I ain’t givin’ you one penny more

gotta buy another TV station for the Lord.

Hellfudge.

Can you imagine what it’s like

to have to flash and pose.

Hellfudge.

While a fat TV preacher

sits and beats off in front of you…

Hellfudge.

Same one who’s so obsessed with,

with anti-smut crusades (fancy that).

Hellfudge.

Oh Lord,

someone let the air out of my tires.

Hellfudge.

I’m stuck – with my pants down

red-handed in sin

but with money like mine

the Lord always forgives – me.

When I’m dictator

you will ALL

be under the iron thumb of Jeezus

the law of the land

executions for witchcraft

televised live at five.

All Rock and Roll is pornography

that mixed coed swimming – PHOOEY!

I tell ya

it promotes problems of the flesh,

problems of the flesh,

the flesh,

the flesh,

the flesh.

I can’t stand it anymore.

My fundamentalist army’s

crackin’ down full swirl.

Hellfudge.

Polyester suit nazis

will control the world.

Hellfudge.

If you think Khomeini

is a step back in time.

Hellfudge.

Just wait til I decide

what you read and who dies.

Hellfudge.

You think we’re finished

boy, you must be queer

we get a little stronger

every year

when I bilk your money

I’m moral, man

but I got a little problem

I just can’t say no

to that hellfudge.

So take off them clothes

slowly now, slowly

and twitch your little flounder just like that

yehhhh… just like they do.

In all the smut rags I pretend I hate so much

bite down real hard

smile …. SLUT!

I own you … look humiliated, try to cry

I despise you so much I hate myself

mmmmmm…

Tastes almost as good

as one of them green bubblegum cigars

yeh! hellfudge.

There’s a whole LOTTA Shakin’ goin’ on in here

but don’t tell my cousin, OK?

Yeeeeh!

Great balls ‘o’ fire!

Hellfudge!