Lyrics Loudon Wainwright III

Loudon Wainwright III

Iwiwal

OK, I'm riding around in this car with this woman that

I'm close to a couple times a week. I'm noticing she's

looking out of the window and noticing OTHER WOMEN: how

this one looks, "Isn't her hair lovely?", "What a nice

outfit!"

I said, "Babe, what is the DEAL?! You're noticing all

these other chicks... maybe... you're a lesbian."

She looks at me and she says, "I wish I was a lesbian!"

Now, at that point, I wanted to say, "You mean 'you

wish you WERE a lesbian' because, grammatically..." But

I let it slide; I didn't wanna ruffle any feathers.

But, y'know, that sentence, that retort, "I wish I was

a lesbian"...kinda stuck in the ol' "Laud-lo"'s

mind...kinda gestated there for...seven, eight

minutes...AND THIS TUNE POPPED OUT!

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-

and-go

And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"

Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight

I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great

I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate

Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't

straight

HEEEEEEY!

I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke

I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike

I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike

Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke

I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung

It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung

Other things are more important...LIKE HOW TO USE YOR

TOUNGE...blblblblblblblblblbl

I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung

HEEEEEEY!

I dare Casey Kasem to play this!

I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true

But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do

But if I was a lesbian, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO

I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true

Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-

and-go

And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"

(I hate that damned machismo!)

Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!