The Drinking Song

drunk men stagger, drunk men fall

drunk men swear and that's not all

quite often they will urinate out doors

like widowed women, drunk men weep

like children curled up, drunk me sleep

like a dog, a drunk will crawl around on all fours

be he broke bum or rich rake

his dinner, be it bread or cake

his beverage be the worst of whiskey or finest wine

puke, it stinks and so it seems

that drunkards go to great extremes

but there is yet to be a perfectly straight line

drunks talk strong when drunks are weak

it's easy for a drunk to speak straight from the heart

drunks will fight, they're not afraid

they'll kiss the mistress, make the maid

a manly art

but the drink the toll will take

blood vessels in the nose will break

bags beneath the eyes — another sign

drunks get ugly so it seems

that drunkards go to great extremes

but there is yet to be a perfectly straight line

drunks are friendly when they're drunk

drunks are hostile when they're drunk

which drunk it is, it all depends up on

when drunks aren't drunk they thirst for drink

elephants are grey not pink

the drink evaporates, the man is gone

back to the yachts and subway cars

to the hip flasks and fruit jars

flat on the face, flat on the behind

drunks get drunk and so it seems

that drunkards go to great extremes

but there is yet to be a perfectly straight line