Please No Squeeza Da Banana

Riley the cop would always stop

On the corner at Tony's stand.

He'd help himself to anything

On which he could lay his hand.

Riley did this quite often;

Plenty of fruit he would soften

'Til Tony got sore,

And inwardly swore.

Then he began to shout:

"Hey! Please no squeeza da banana!

Because when-a you do dat,

Den-a you make her flat.

Hey! Please no squeeza da banana,

'Cause!

When you squeeza da plum,

You put-a him on the bum.

You touch-a dis, you touch-a dat,

You touch-a everyt'ing -

You push-a dis, you push-a dat,

You never buy notting!

So please no squeeza da banana!

If you squeeza, Officer, please,

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana,

'Cause!

When you squeeza da grape,

You put-a him outta shape!

You squeeza dis, you squeeza dat;

Why don't you squeeza citroul?

Oh, please no squeeza da banana!

If you squeeza, Officer, please,

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana,

'Cause!

When-a you make-a da reach,

You break him uppa da peach!

You push-a dis, you push-a dat,

You muss 'em uppa da stand.

You take-a dis, you take-a dat,

Someday I break-a you hand!

So please no squeeza da banana.

If you squeeza, Officer, please,

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana,

'Cause!

When you squeeza da pear,

You act-a like a square.

You touch-a dis, you touch-a dat,

You flatten out-a da fig.

You squeeza dis, you eat-a dat,

You act-a like a pig!

So please no squeeza da banana!

If you squeeza, Officer, please,

Squeeza da coconut!

Hey! Squeeza da watermelon, hey,

But please no squeeza da banana!"