Glad I'm Not Yew

I dont claim to ride a bike

with long black hair to show my might

I dont follow the latest styles

they make me throw up bright green bile

I dont have to shave my head

or walk around and beg for bread

I dont have big ears that stick out

or act like my parents threw me out!

Dont parade around town

or shoot up gloo that gets me down

I dont have lots of holes in my arm

and have'nt used up all my charms,

dont go to clubs 'cause I think its cool,

and hang out with all the fools

so glad. oh so glad I'm not you

I dont sit in a highrise office

and think about how much money I make

I dont have a greasy toupe or walk around with hair thats fake

dont have pearls, or cars or furs

only cowboy boots, no spurs

no silk sheets apon my bed

glad I'm not you, I'd rather be dead!

I have acid wash, but no poodle hair

thats why I shot you that ugly stare

no high heels with jeans and socks

I rather have a bagel, hold the lox

no tan in the middle of winter

I'd rather have a ten foot splinter

*Chorus*