Tom Cruise

I write in short form

Cause I'm a warped dwarf that gargles chloroform

Broke a foreign store - in chops, just cause I had a warrent for 'em

I'm fuckin' touring more

My fans, they are my family

They're keeping me away from doing drugs and going gambling

If I am home too long I feel like strangling

So when my thoughts start scrambling

The anger in me gets me tangled annually

I write down goals I must achieve and check 'em manually

Rambling in the studio 'til I'm sure there's no man handling me

Play you like a mandolin

Eat you like a damn panini

Flipping like a Dolphin

Dan Marino with a Lamborghini

Couple groupie bimbos, boobies popping out their damn bikinis

I wrangle wrestlers, hassle 'em and wrestle 'em

Whip a lasso around these assholes, make a fuckin' mess of 'em

I'm masculine, their messages are full of fluff and estrogen

I'm guessing all of this testosterone

Is what makes me an awesome gnome

Floss 'em 'til my cock's a fuckin' fossil bone

MadChild is immaculate

Wack with a crack faculty

Rolling like tobacco leaves

After they've dried naturally

Accolades from laying tracks like a rap factory

Get sacked, cause I'm back tackling raps like I'm an athlete

Quit your cackling, shit is just spectacular

Vernacular is sharper than the fangs that hang from Dracula

Kill a silhouette cause I'm iller there ain't no filling lace

Bad boy, I'll beat you with four pop cans in a pillow case

I remember days of saying, "Hey, check out my roster holmes"

Yo Little Monster's home from concerts, writing constant poems

Busting it up on Posturepedic mattresses with actresses

The fact is that I'm back more accurate than maps and atlases

But I'm not sure if I lost game or my attractiveness

But it seems that my activities have dropped on sexual activeness

What, am I blacklisted from porn stars and actresses?

May be the most eligible bachelor that just spat vicious

Once we get it cracking, fuck you 'til I break your back bitches

You're no different than the last bitch is

Half riches, half fame

Half of you don't even know my real name, that's real lame

Giving up your pussy just to feel fame

Had to trade my heart in for an artery with a steel frame

And part of me thinks maybe you're retarded

What's the deal babe?

What...

Just cause I'm famous I don't feel pain?

You don't think you're talking to somebody that's got a real brain?

I despise all of your lies, I just ain't got time to call you out

Polishing my wallet means that's all it about

I knew I couldn't love her, it's another freaking falling out

Killin' it to laugh, fulfill my prophecy of ballin' out

I'm eating porridge in a storage locker, in a pair of orange joggers

Life is boring for a blogger, fuck a foreign torn swapper

Kids on computers, little cocky farts and smart mouths

Crazy talking crappy ass apartments out in Dartmouth

Explosive like I'm Shady with eighty grenade launchers

And I'm the Little Monster, the Palladium playing concerts

So yeah my brain's bonkers

Praying my name conquers

Creeping from Waikiki to Albuquerque to Yonkers

Still Street Fighting saying, "Hyuka" like I'm Blanca

Maneuver like a juvenile's abuse, without a sponsor

You ain't tough, you're a Tonka Truck

I'm combination of a fire breathing dragon that's wrestling with a monster truck

It's really nonsense, silly like Willy Wonka's

Chocolate Factory, I'll get back to you when I'm conscious

I'm an upper class puppet master, sipping a cup of Shasta

Tougher cause I've outlasted

And suffered through some rough disasters

This time I ain't calling you a bitch, you're a fuckin' bastard

So suck your mother's asshole, you stupid fuckin' asshole

Back sharper than ever

I'm razor sharp

With a broken heart

And here's a token fart