In The Middle Of The Night

E’ning Standard read all about it! Paper sir? paper sir?

Nice man George newsagent on the corner

not very rich but never any poorer

jaunty old George a happy sixty three

not very tall but healthier than me

he whistles timeless tunes as he saunters down the street

springs in his legs and elastic in his feet

But in the middle of the night he steals through your garden

gives your hosiery a fright and doesn’t say“pardon?”

as soft as a breeze with an armful of underwear

on his hands and knees dreams about the knicker scare

Hello there George newsagent on the corner

how’s the old car yes the climate’s getting warmer

chatty old George did you get your morning paper

read about the nicker thief underwear taker?

bids you good day as you wander out the door

never closes early always cleans the floor

But when darkness hits the town and there’s washing on your line

get your knickers down before the dreaded sign

when the clock strikes eight and you’re snuggled up in bed

he’ll be at the garden gate filling underwear with dread

Nice man George newsagent on the corner

he was closed today maybe gone to mow the lawn

had to go further down the road to get the Currant Bun

hello isn’t that George on page one?

no it couldn’t be but yes it is difficult to see from these photo fits

But they are after him of that you can be sure

they’ve called him on the phone they’ve knocked on his door

but he’s gone away gone to stay with some mates

he got the papers early and saw his own fate

Enerring Standard papers sir?