What's My Name

What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm not who I want to be

I tried spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawling up the wall!

What's my name naaaame...naaaame....naaaame....

I tried to join a ping-pong club,

Sign on the door said all full up!

I got nicked, fighting in the road

An' the judge didn't even know

What's my name

Dad got pissed so I got clocked

Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot

Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box

Drives you fucking mad

What's my name

Now I'm round the back of your house at night

Peeping in the window - are you sleeping tight?

I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip

An' you won't know who came

What's my name