Behind With The Rent

This didn’t used to be me, old boy

This isn’t what I’d want

pulling old night fighters

in a restaurant

There’s smoke and flames behind me

where the self-respect all went

and I’m behind, behind

with the rent

I’ve been stitched up like a kipper, old son

but I won’t be again

Hell hath no fury

Oh, I’m like a lot of men

Now I’m stalking this old Doris

with lascivious intent

and I’m behind, behind

with the rent

Just a little duck and dive

and a bit of wheel and deal

She’ll remind me I’m alive

She’ll remind me I still feel

Just a little shelling out

for a bit of you-know-what

I know this is all about

something that I never got

Well this crumpet’s past it’s sell-by-date

but they all would qualify

They’re going to be lonely

and be happy to comply

She knows that I’m a chancer

coming on like a gent

but I’m behind, behind

with the rent

Yes, I’m behind, behind

with the rent