Toothpick Spliffs

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'

What were we, what were we, what were we thinkin'?

Smokein' and smokein' and smokein' and drinkin'!

I don't smoke blunts

'Cause I'm frugal with my dookie

I hock a loogie, spit it out

Then hit the hoochie

I'm on bud like Hux comma Rudy

It's my duty to get loopy

On the Buddha like it's bootie

I smoke fields

I cold cock craps

I smoke peels

Smoke Robe cough drops

I smoke if it's green

I smoke Monopoly homes

It spices up my life

When the monotony drones

I smoke bags

Smoke bails

Smoke 'till I see trails

Only time I put it down

Is when I see a female

Just a minor detail

That will usualy pass

I'll hit that ass

Hit that glass packed

Right with the grass

I smoke Greedo

I smoke Kermit

I smoke the weed

'Til it makes me vermit

I vote third party

That's code for get high

Pass the Yoshi

To the left hand side

Smokey doesn't like me

'Cause I burn up his trees

I smoke more sesame seeds

Than I was Mayor McCheese

I'm just a cancer ridden MC

Seekin' pain relief

Pass the marijuana

Hit it, hold in, release

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'

What were we, what were we, what were we thinkin'?

Smokein' and smokein' and smokein' and drinkin'!

I'll scrape your bong

Steal roaches from your ashtray

I'll rent nice dreams

I'll rent Half Baked

I'll eat a box of Frosted Flakes

Because they taste great

Only leads to cat naps

Doesn't lead to date rape

Light the incense

Turn on the blacklight

Steady stressin'

Let's get stoned like stalactites

Break it out, break it up

Pack it the bag pipes

Get on the PC

And play a little Half-Life

I hit the Apple

And ended up at Applebee's

Went to Wendy's

Went to Denny's

Went to Mickey D's

I went to Crystal

Went to Castle

Went where I pleased

Ate more meat and cheese

Than Mr. Dom Delouise

I slept all day

And I got nothing accomplished

Just being honest

I get paranoid and nautious

I get obnoxious

It's not comin' at a constant

It's a pipe

Not a pulpit

Pass it on

Or get accosted

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'

What were we, what were we, what were we thinkin'?

Smokein' and smokein' and smokein' and drinkin'!