I Heart Fags

I love fags

because I am a san franciscan

if you're dissing on my homos

then this censure's what you're risking

(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):

you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!

Fags are great, they've got hundreds of uses

you can see them on TV explaining what puce is

abstruse is the world but very simple is the homo

he or she is anyone who's keen to do another one more so

than the opposite, follow?

fags are great 'cause almost every single one swallows

or so I'm led to believe, lesbians also I've heard of,

not to mention non-gender-identified spivaks seeking nerd love,

and I've spurned just about everything there is

cause I was born here, and here's where I live

here i give you this advice, love a fag today

either up close and personally, or from far away

see fags are gay, and gay's a good adjective

it means like happy and high, but you had to just

shy me away from the topic of my fag-love

something maybe that you're lacking in? don't get mad just

cause you don't have such a big heart as frontalot

you could love fags too, you already think dykes are hot

why not come on down to the street fair,

(there's) asses in chaps plus rough trade to meet there,

some of whom been barebacking it in back alleys for years

yo I promise if you visit you could meet some queers

and if you love even just one, hooray

if you don't, well I hope you enjoyed your stay

and I hope you go on your merry way

with the chorus of my song slowly turning you gay

And you don't love fags, this much is apparent

you're having nightmares about them every time you get your hair cut

you stare what you suspect could be a queer man

in the eye, in the mirror, enzymes coming out your fear gland

he's got scissors near your eardrums

you might lose your hearing you don't watch it with these queer ones

and here comes your presidential cheerleader now

so disturbed by the marriages in my home town

that he's got to take the tip top law in the land down

scribble on it: "I hate homos, big bad frown."

put it back up, be like "what? it's better!

y'all were with me a second ago

when I said that marriage was threatened

and it was! under siege by these villains

can you believe they wanted to gang up and have children?

there would be an army of them, teeming and thronging

tempting every American to give in to forbidden longing

i thought they couldn't reproduce, that was their weakness!

now what are we gonna do? they're gonna seek just

treatment under the law, dammit that's like saying

it's okay to be gay! or a lesbian! hey man,

you can not say that. society would crumble and fall apart."

i'll think about that on the BART

gladdening every inch of the ride

to be on the way to the where I reside

not just a place where I keep my stuff

but the spot got plenty of the kind of person that I love